Resolutions

12511929_10154450996994307_1765693971_nStanding in my kitchen in the gray light of the morning, hands clasped around the warm stoneware of my mug, my mind races with possibility. So many things I want to accomplish, but I must pick and choose.

I’ve been reflecting a lot lately on the New Year’s resolutions and the daily-ness of life and realize that in so many ways they clash. We set these big shining goals and feel good about them, but in each day, what are we doing?

It sounds trite to say that each day is a gift and yet, it’s so true. We don’t know how many of them we have. None of us are guaranteed tomorrow. Literally our whole life is right now.

Like Romilly in Interstellar, a scientist who finds himself alone for many years longer than expected, when finally reunited with his team, he is asked, “why didn’t you sleep?” And he says, “I didn’t want to sleep my life away.”

So many times we find ourselves sleeping away our lives, not literally like Romilly had the option to do, but in waiting for the next thing, the next relationship, the right job, a big trip, or what have you.

But all we ever have is today, this moment. Everything else is a memory or a dream, and while both of those are important, both can shape who we are, they are the ghosts that accompany us, both sinister and friendly.

It’s easy to let the internet breed discontent with your life, or to be angry at yourself for giving up on yet another resolution.

Sometimes I wonder if we go about this all wrong, the resolutions, the goal setting. We write out these absolute facts and figures for our year and in that moment we feel good about ourselves, we picture ourselves as accomplishing those things, and it’s grand. But life intervenes and goals don’t get met. And in despair, we give up on the rest of them.

What if it’s not about the specific details by a specific date?

I mean, it’s fine to want to lose weight or get in shape or get your house organized or get out of debt. These are all fine and worthy goals. But all too often we go about trying to accomplish them all wrong.

12528174_10154450997069307_1373701358_nThere is no “new year, new me.” No one can change in an instant and overhaul their entire life. And why should you? For better or for worse, I like who I am now. I’ve invested a lot of time, sweat, and tears in becoming this person. I don’t want a new me, I’d rather just keep working on what I have.

What if instead of treating each year as a blank slate, we looked at the only blank slate we truly have? This day.

So I made some daily resolutions that I have more thoughts on, but those are other posts for other days.

 

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