Today I looked up at a large cobweb swaying from my ceiling and I thought, how long has that been there?
I technically started quarantining a week ago now, but there’s been so much to do to prepare for extreme limiting of contact that I’ve been busier rather than less busy.
The busy-ness has been a shield of sorts, there are so many people to check on, I could stay busy all day every day right now. There’s virtual meetings to set up and get going, there’s still so much I could do.
My brain is telling me to stop. It never could all get done in one day anyway.
When was the last time I vacuumed these cobwebs?
On my ceiling… in my mind…
I baked cookies with my kids today, something I used to do a lot, but hadn’t done in recent years.
Remembered how much I love to do that, cleared away that cobweb.
Maybe tomorrow I’ll vacuum the cobwebs off the actual ceiling… or maybe I’ll leave them a while longer to remind me to check first for the cobwebs in the corners of my mind.
I have to say again how excited I am to approach this trip. Just in the space of the three prep calls we’ve covered some theology, some history and culture, and now spiritual practices to take into the experience of pilgrimage. A lot of us were feeling scattered and overwhelmed at the start of the call tonight as the days before we leave tick by with so much left to accomplish on our lists. Teresa Mateus led us through some grounding exercises that refocused us on our breath and inside our bodies, allowing us to release tension and stress and other things we were holding onto.
I had a realization in the middle of exercise two that I really am a five on the enneagram. I feel like I’m all about feelings and intuition but I can’t actually access any of that until I can mentally process it. I can be in a space of contemplation and feel complete blankness and until I start writing about it, I can’t tell you what I experienced or saw. It’s an interesting thing to sit with and see where that takes me.
There were two separate exercises, the first, the word I heard was just “whole.” That isn’t surprising as it’s one I’ve been sitting with for a couple years now. It’s behind the story of the Sitka spruce tattoo on my forearm. I got that to embody embracing my whole story so I could write the ending. And that embracing is an ongoing practice as I process trauma and memories and the like, but if I don’t embrace the whole story, I give power to the past that prevents me from writing the end of this story as the primary actor instead of someone being acted on.
In the second exercise, people are seeing color and hearing things and I’m like, I was just still and empty, but as I thought about it (she didn’t call on me first, yay!) and jotted some notes I realized that what I was feeling was open, and an image came to me then: one of standing on a rock on a mountain, overlooking a valley with my arms outstretched, waiting. Not too sure what that’s all about just yet, but I’m open to finding out.
In four days I’ll be in NY getting started on this great adventure!
Once upon a time my bedroom always got last dibs on energy. Piles of clean, yet unfolded laundry dominated the scene, dressers piled high with everything from mail to books to children’s toys. The bed was never made. If company was coming and I wanted to pretend my hallway was all clean, I would just shove any tubs or anything into my room and lock the door.
But grown-ups and especially parents sometimes get little enough good sleep as it is. The time we spend in our rooms should be tranquil and relaxing, setting the stage for good sleep.
Also, I need a beautiful space for time-outs. Mommy time-outs that is.
Enter the bedroom makeover! I confess I never remember before pics, one day I will… Maybe.
Anyway, here it is, “mommy’s sacred space” also known as “mommy’s secret space” to Eli, lol! But I’ve explained how it’s important to me that this room stay this way, and he seems up understand. Plus he loves it too.
The photo web is fifteen nails in the wall with jute twine wound around them. I drew a diagram first, and planned the rough shape and direction of the twine so I didn’t double back anywhere. I didn’t stick with it completely but it gave me a sense of direction. I figured out the overall size and put painters tape around the perimeter of the space I wanted to fill with the web.
Prints are from Artifact Uprising, ordered via their iPhone app. They are secured to the web with bulldog clips.
Anniversary date sign made from tea and vinegar stained wood and vinyl letters.
Wedding pics board was a ribbon photo board I was tired of so I stapled a heavy cotton fabric over it and made a new hanger from jute twine.
Vase frame made from repurposed and painted frame, beer bottles, jute twine, and the ribbon was the one tied around the quilt when it came.
Spaceship blueprints from Quantum Prints on Etsy. I “framed” them with a pre-cut mat and brown paper craft tape. Clipped them with a bulldog clip and hung with a small nail. Dresser is covered with a table runner. Box is vintage toolbox (complete with vintage tools inside!) from a church rummage sale. Glass canisters are simply filled with small white rocks and reindeer moss leftover from my airplant project.