"G"

So simple, yet I almost missed it… What to do for the letter “G”? Then the blocks stood out at me, and as I went to spell the word, my son came over to play with me.  So easy to miss, just like their childhoods if we don’t take time to pause every day and just be with them.

This post is part of the A to Z blogging challenge.  For more on this series, see the original post here.

A day in the life of…

Actually, make that a morning in the life of…

Okay, so I’m writing this for me. Don’t read it, it’s not really for you.

That being said, if you’re still reading… stop it! okay fine, you can read, but don’t comment.

It’s not even 10 am.  I sat down around 8:27 to spend an hour on my social network sites, namely facebook and twitter.  Trying to be disciplined and all that jazz, don’t want to get addicted or let it eat my life, yada yada.  My hour went something like:

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Love.

I read somewhere that children love their parents because they are basically programmed to love their parents. I mean it makes sense, I suppose, from an evolutionary standpoint that children love their parents so that their parents will take care of them and so forth.

And something about this appealed to me at the time, being a cynical, wounded adult, reading these thoughts from another cynical, wounded adult.

But I realized today that they were really quite wrong.

Children love because it is their nature to love. They love because they were created in the image of God, and as little tiny people, not very long in this messed up world, that part of the image of God is still more or less intact. So my son loves me and he loves his daddy and he loves his puppies and he loves his kitties and he loves people who “get” babies and speak their language and he just… loves.

He doesn’t love me because of what I do, in his world, he loves me and I love him and of course I take care of him because I’m mama and that’s what mama’s do is take care of babies and I think it’s safe to say that it has never occurred to him that it can be otherwise.

Which is why I feel like dirt when I get frustrated with him, or rather, get frustrated that his needs, which are many as he is still very dependent on me (obviously!) completely block at times my ability to do what I need (like sleep!), and I get frustrated and he gets confused because he doesn’t understand, but then I feel better and he just goes right on loving me like nothing happened, and I feel more like dirt because I feel like I don’t deserve it.

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